sun tow rope pulling the years passed from the old Yellow River, the trail on a wet depression show a string of crushing the feet, it is the fiber of his life marks, trapping in the patch of muddy earth, left yesterday, left to travel the journey of the soul, leaving the native country of dreams lost.
he had stolen fire from heaven that can cave in the cave to be the sun lamp that he had thought that vomit can be a heart grief to wake up the soul numbing second memory, he thought that a few "elite" on her own Fixed a tow rope to pull the boat five years, he thought, "heavy subject" on the construction of a cultural pyramid to sink patch of land can hold up ┅ ┅
For the anxious longing, he made a tragic trail of the Yellow River is also sorrowful reason, culture and adventure of life, so less land of China a soldier can never be a general, but always possible General to do the "head" of the soldier, who has more than a dream.
blue in search of that dream, he banished ┅ ┅ life
early eighties, China, over the twinkling stars.
It was a time trial, the fate of the reform of the throat, strangling, a wave of great times and support the traditional institutional framework of the impact that system was crumbling, history and reality are faced with severe challenges. The Silence of the intellectual can no longer silent, and the fate of the brave choice of a number of seekers.
1983 years away Victor's name began to appear frequently in the country's most authoritative theory of several publications and newspapers:
"China Social Science," "Philosophy," "People's Daily", "Wen Wei Po", "Guangming Daily" ┅ ┅
only year he published more than a dozen articles.
like a star across the intellectual over the room quietly. At that time, he is a 28-year-old soldier with no college degree.
1984, the autumn. Yuan Zhiming admitted to Department of Philosophy, Renmin University of China, Graduate School, not into the campus to become a newsmaker, and even rank are rumors of "promotion" of the two.
That year, he was 29 years old, with years of military service and a published book, "Social and Human" and another forthcoming book, "a heavy subject." On these two books, much later Victor had this explanation:
"" society and people "ideology of Marxism of contemporary China, especially the historical part, made a detailed criticism. Such criticism is not subversive, but try employing view of the doctrine of Marxism to make The new interpretation. This book is actually criticized
Chinese-style Marxism, human dignity, human values and disregard for human freedom, and points out the Chinese people's enthusiasm and creativity is repressed system and culture, are misleading, this is the root cause of poverty and backwardness. "Heavy subject" is from the cultural traditions and the existing system to try to explain both how the Chinese are repressed, but unfortunately, some of the existing system on the time of publication had to be deleted. When I was such a culture and system, history, thought and reality at the end of the cross, I get this feeling: - China's hope lies in the world; achieve this hope, awakened by the world rely on the Chinese people; our generation is doomed to bear heart pain, perhaps we can become so great. "
- Yuan Zhiming "
Zhiming Yuan last two lines of text written in 1984 to a "heavy subject" to the end. At that time, he did not think the fate of the suffering has been prepared for him, a lonely boat has been moored at a pier next life ┅ ┅
he took the handsome soldier, philosopher and poet of the deep passion to step onto the campus of Renmin University.
He is the son of farmers. His heart could not on that vast underlying security, good natured and Shen redundant land, he was destined to be banished to the ground, and even one day crying out to the earth. When he announced his smartly destined to bear the pain of the mind, he has not heard, fate has been knocking at the door ┅ ┅
Trek
he could not well aware of his inner feelings in the blue, or blue selected him. 1987, when the "blue" creative team of the Yellow River along the ancient dream, he did not know why the last hopes of finding a blue happens, happens and that the blue cover on his head ("blue" were six episodes, the first episode is "Dream", Diliu Ji is the "blue", took part in the Diliu Ji Yuan Zhiming's writer).
in the "blue", I read this description:
"blue sky, deep and mysterious. People used to believe that the mysterious blue depict the entire universe, it is the color of the universe.
only twenty years ago, when humans first left Earth, in space Looking to their home, they will surprised to find that, in the current stars in the known universe, only our human home planet, is a blue planet. "
Fengyun blue planet, in the vast universe, spinning, just like the vast galaxy where a splendid sapphire, lonely shining bright light of civilization. This is unique so far Zhiming the blue bangs, he indulged in the imagination of blue blue that he wanted to find inspiration: why a planet in the same, when the Museum of Western civilization up, Asian Civilization they go dim it? The source of the light blue where? He rolled from the wisdom of the paddle, the beginning of a thrilling and romantic and cultural drift.
Tuantuan surging tide of economic reform and groaned, hedge camel's political base in the high dam was under the Paoxiao, Diwai is dry and parched fields, vast land of the economic territory of Ukraine split the thirsty lips, despair, listening to the great tide of wailing, sky and shouts!
1989, the waves of a spring night.
Beijing, Chinese Academy of Social Economic Research Institute.
most outstanding contemporary Chinese middle-aged group of intellectuals gathered in the night.
room filled with smoke, flashing red flickering flame of the cigarette butts, as if the little fishing boat lights, flashing on the coast of thought.
Victor sitting far corner of the last row.
These days, almost every night and soak him in this elite "cultural salon", he initiated at the university organized a Reform Association. This study will be directly responsible for the State Commission for Restructuring the research topic.
very warm meeting, it was uncompromising, is that in theory the maze in circles. Suddenly, far Zhiming outraged:
"no time, you still arguing this!"
clap of thunder like sound, awed by all the voices, the room silent for a second, people "brush" to look back:
far from the last row of standing Victor, chest heaving, her face flushed with excitement:
"Why are only sitting here pontificating, but not issue freely of?"
after a long time, but also a spring breeze rippling the night away in Torrance, California, home of Victor, I met a Beijing reporter, six years ago, she mentioned that much hair in public Zhiming field fire, suddenly said, "others are unknown Baiyuan Zhi Ming was believed in God, how could I not surprised. I told him the deepest impression is the day when people are sitting pontificating, when only one who stood up to what you preach to. "
wife Lily Yuan Zhiming taunt said:
"special day 'lost envy', in our Institute of Economic Research, in the presence of so many people in the face!"
sacred mission spur far Zhiming, he had a time to fasten his chariot, life turned into a rolling wheel, driving fast to the rugged steep rolling on the road to explore.
Zhiming Yuan published in cooperation with the package Zunxin Books "Culture Renditions", published in Hong Kong, "Pacific Forum" opened at the Central Communist Youth League, "History of Western Political Thought," a large class of candidates to do more than the national community of researchers, Weekend colloquium, lectures around the country ┅ ┅
indulge in his passion into, indulge in shouting among indulge in looking into, being immersed in the glory of life.
"The thinking, the thinking about the past, the thinking time, but also the thinking self. Can not be solemnly tried myself, how can it eligible for the trial time?"
- Liu Zaifu "looking Elegy"
Unfortunately, a few years ago, the land of their dreams in the motherland, Liu Zaifu write a poem so dignified, indulge in the glory of life among the Victor would not listen so much dignified voice.
his eyes examined by the trial society, history and people, he thought he was the Illuminati, a knight, is the monk, he thought as long as the noble spirit of the climb on the tall pyramid, to be off the sun in the sky, shines under clouds beings.
he said to the world, open the windows to let the sun shine in it! However, he revealed their minds locked into the attic, quietly dropped curtain, so in the depressed heart imprisoned in convulsions, struggles, Paoxiao, rage and even chaos smash things to vent their anger, the wife lamented, "there is a person, half genius, half madman ┅ ┅ ".
China Youth Political College has a red floor bedroom, it is the castle of his soul, he left the window bright and allows the room was clouded. He was able to interpret to the world social, historical and national suffering to himself and his wife could not decipher the mystery of the suffering soul.
He wanted to save the nation, save the country, but, he can not save himself.
applause sounded, when, who could hear the sigh of the soul?
clarity and blue sky outside the window, the sun on the balcony gentle and bright, the eyes of envy of the world pour in his explorations are woven into a splendid way to the Arc de Triomphe, when he passed under the door from the Arc de Triomphe, when all were released into the atmosphere of gloom ┅ ┅
Disillusionment
1989 年 6 月 4 am, the one that makes the world erect surprise of the night.
fate of the "click" sound wrung rust astringent Tongsuo look at your life, stop looking!
earth trembled a little, the world into a swoon ┅ ┅
Zhiming Yuan running madly in the night, he slit open his bare chest and heart Tears of Blood, sky and shouts:
"kill you, kill it!"
"Who is this nightmare did it?'s Enormous devil to impinge upon you, sharp claws tore your skin, and piercing your organs, it is to slowly devour your heart, smoking Dry your blood, then you wail like crazy over and over again:
This is the dream of it, tell me this is a dream now! Can sense the earth was a thousand times thousand answer you:
This is not a dream, this is not a dream!
At this moment, how would you feel Oh! Already very desperate do you? You have endured! You sad biting it? You have endured! You'd rather die it? You have endured! You say this is absolutely not tolerate it? No, you have endured!
This is me, that morning. "
- Yuan Zhiming "nightmare"
never have thought that a vast ocean, and there will not be so small building a cottage deep philosophy, and never can resist the thin Chaoyin heart, and never at night nets to capture sea stars of the ┅ ┅
bird blue glass ball "thumping" to break the sound by a bullet, pointed hard blizzard punctured his eyes, the world turned into a blood-red, black, rough with, Paoxiao the, tank Side , crushed the earth ┅ ┅
1989 年 10 17, Ministry of Public Security issued an arrest warrant:
illegal organization "Federation of Beijing intellectuals" backbone elements far Zhiming, XXX, XXX, XXX and other four persons to participate actively in inciting, organizing unrest and counter-revolutionary rebellion, commit serious crimes, it was decided to be wanted. Please access the local public security organ after the arrest warrant, the deployment of investigation work, especially in the border provinces and regions to strengthen the investigation and found that after the verdict, detention, and speed of five Ministry of Public Security reported.
Ministry of Public Security August 17, 1989
"favored" going to turn into a "desperate" Banqimiankong fate finally learned to worthy seekers to class ┅ ┅
