Love can not be called "love"

Falling in love is love it?

‧ psychiatrist Scott Peck Slovakia (M. Scott Peck) and the psychologist if the West Tower . Snow Fields (Dorothy Tennov) made the conclusion that the fundamental experience of love can not be called "love . " Dr. Tian Nuo experience made for the love of a new word "Limerrance", to distinguish her experience of the so-called true love . Bike Bo Shi concluded that the experience of falling in love can not be love , for three reasons .

First of all : falling in love is not a rational action , or a conscious choice. No matter how much we may want to fall in love, we do not to make it happen ; the other hand, we do not deliberately seek time , this experience may still come upon us. Often , which makes us an inappropriate time , with unlikely people fall in love.

Second : falling in love is not love , because it effortlessly . In love period, no matter what we do, rarely need to use self-discipline or a conscious effort . We call each other a long , expensive phone ; to see the flowers and other travel , gifts given and done, seem to not matter to us . Nature to instruct them as birds nest : the experience of the nature of love , and promote each other we did some strange and unusual things.

Finally : a love of the people , not really interested in nurturing each other's personal growth . " When we love , if you really want to ask what purpose ? that is to end his solitude , to achieve this result through marriage . " love experience, not to focus on their growth , do not pay attention to each other's growth and development. But it gives us a feeling you're done , that we no longer need to grow . On the contrary, we have at the peak of happiness in life , the only desire is to stay there ; of course, the people we love do not need to grow , because she is perfect . We only hope that she will continue to maintain its original perfection.

Love is love it?

Love , we tend to be contrary to our nature attracted to people , this may be " very different with the most repulsive attraction "in the relevant laws of physics . For example: lively outgoing person who likes to keep a cool head , quick action will appreciate the leisurely type , there are puzzling me the most is the cost-conscious people , often accompanied by spending the last generous person. People in love , there is always a misconception that his love is perfect ; and how people say , is irrelevant. However, when the waves died down emotional love , the couple returned to the real world , the differences between the two men out on the show . How many of us would ask: " Why do we get married? we always disagree . " peak in love , we always thought that two were in agreement (at least in every important things ) . So, the real world is really a love marriage, the tomb of it?

Where can one find true love ?

Ancient Greek on the "love" word is there are four different levels : the first word of love is Eros, refers to men and women "sex "in marriage is holy . The second love is Storge, natural affection refers to the love between family members , extended to the children by the husband and wife , relatives. The third love is Phileo, means " friendship . " The fourth love yes yes Agape, which is "Agape" is the sacrifice and dedication , unconditional, everlasting love. Want to know "love" , it must be God's "love "to understand , because " God is love "," We love because He first loved us ", we can not give other people do not have our own , because " love is From God "; the Bible 's " Love Song " is passed down through the ages of poems, is the best interpretation of love : " Love is patient and kind ; love is not jealous ; Love does not boast , not proud , Rude things , not for their own benefit, not easily provoked, thinks no evil people do not like injustice , but rejoices in the truth ; everything , always trusts , always hopes , always perseveres , Love never fails ... " ( I Corinthians Chapter 13 , section 4-8 )

To explore the mysteries of love

"New relations between the sexes "(The New Intimacy) and health author Judy Weiss (Judith Sherven, Ph.D. and James Sniechowski, Ph.D) put forward : that gender differences in contrast , is the hidden secret of true love Place , this love is waiting to be awakened and stimulated . If your determination, courage and will to improve the relationship between husband and wife get along , willing to abandon old unconstructive behavior, choosing a healthy interactive behaviors , you can be the difference between the two grow together into a catalyst , so that these differences Does not bother you, in fact , a close interaction between the new unhappy marriages can become a good couple more too!

" creative consciousness "(Conscious Creativity) is a "new relations between the sexes , " the authors designed a way to help couples face the reality , no longer evade the issue . Purpose is to find the couple together and create a new mode of communication , a kind of whatever and give each other a manner satisfactory to both . Focus on both spouses must be true to state the problem , and carefully listen to each other , respect each other's feelings , of which nine steps are as follows :

1 . definition
To express the real issues are bothering you , and as specific as possible .

2 . experience feelings
Clear and complete to tell each other how you feel , let the other have experienced and understand how you feel.

3 . Do not forget , you are really concerned about him
Remember : the harmonious relations between the sexes , as is crafted of mosaic art , which is composed of many materials to form the . In all of the issues in the relationship between you and your spouse is the most to be cherished .

4 . guard against self- abuse
When the relationship between them ring true meaning , please pay attention to your own feelings , do not let the negative patterns of behavior take you .

5 . to change their mind
Open the door of your heart , believe that any problems can be understanding , and a variety of different solutions . So you will not be caught resting on its laurels situation, despite arguments to each of the emotional gap between them dig deeper .

6 . assume responsibility
Ask themselves their own situation in the troubled years, it also should bear some responsibility? "One takes two to tango " , usually , the couple 's problem can not be caused only by one party to .

7 . to respect each other's differences
Remember each other and you're different, learning to understand your spouse as an independent entity , there are differences at all levels of office , you have to respect these differences, the position of standing on the other side to ideas , learning from the heart , the problem easier to solve .

8 . consciousness Innovation
Has been manipulated and enforced in person , you want to share in each other's mind what position , you should also put him in your heart the same location . Foster a new vision to appreciate and respect each of these personality traits .

9 . to seek win-win situation
Make a decision, remember that you are two different people , this decision is necessary to seek mutual benefits , not only for the unilateral vision . Decision problem is not who wins , the whole consultation process is focused on mutual respect and trust , so that husband and wife closer together, more grow .

If you are the past and the other half because there are differences of opinion , it finds that your relationship will never become a stalemate , please be sure to discourage this dangerous idea. The situation you are facing relationship usually means that you need to be adjusted , perhaps you need to do maintenance of interactive , or a change of engine oil , and only a dream -like love everything will be smooth , everything solved . Come on! Come on!

About
Pei-Fen Tsai current "Canada Campus Crusade for Christ " ministry director of China's network , the network responsible for editing and publishing the new beauty magazine , her husband Wang Daqing pastor of Christ in the Northern California Bay Area home the first pastor , education has three children . Please visit the "New Beauty "Browse more of her articles .